FOR HER

Women can never have too much jewelry, so consider this 14k white-gold custom ring with two-carat heart-shaped pink sapphire and diamonds for the special woman in your life. $3,000 at Treasures Custom Jewelers. (623) 486-7875 or treasuresforyou.com

It’s true that (most) women love chocolate, but not just the chocolate that comes in a box. Or in ice cream cartons, in fancy-restaurant desserts, and coating fresh strawberries. Chocolate facials are one of the many other delightful forms of chocolate, and Par Exsalonce is offering one such tempting treatment for Valentine’s Day. The antioxidant-rich chocolate smoothes and refines skin and is a wonderful stress reliever. At a special price of $120, but must be ordered by February 13. parexsalonceaz.com

FOR HIM

Treat your guy to some high-quality pampering at one of V’s Barbershop’s seven Valley locations. Yes, you could get him that much-needed haircut or a straightedge shave, but V’s also carries some top men’s grooming products, framed sports-themed artwork, and more. vbarbershop.com

Keep him on time with a Luminox EVO Navy SEALs Dive Watch from Cabela’s. It’s a handsome timepiece with highly scratch-resistant sapphire glass crystal—perfect for when he’s out working, playing, or hunting—and a stainless steel case that protects it from moisture to a depth of 660 feet—most desirable for when he takes you on that trip to the Caribbean….$549.99 or $649.99 (steel bracelet) at cabelas.com

FOR BOTH

For more personalized, individual gifts or those that are rare or hard to find, consider antiquing! The Brass Armadillo Antique Mall boasts over 600 antique dealers and features aisles filled with collectibles of every sort, from Depression glass to military items to Star Wars memorabilia. It’s the perfect place to shop for either men or women. (602) 942-0030 or brassarmadillo.com/phoenix

Exotic trips are a special way to celebrate love, and India is rich with romantic getaway spots, gorgeous architecture, festive traditions, vibrant dress, intimate dining, and sensual spices. It has more than the enchanting Taj Mahal to entice couples looking for a new and exciting experience. tourindia.com or india-unveiled.com

Perhaps you and your special someone would rather not stress over dinner reservations and would prefer a romantic evening in instead. Hire a personal chef for your Valentine’s Day meal! Private cooking lessons are also available and are an interactive culinary treat you might consider. chefdujour.com, seasoningsbyrex.com, azcustomcuisine.com, hireachef.com

FOR SINGLES

The single life is an exciting one! No pity gifts necessary. But if you wish to treat your single friend to something nice for Valentine’s Day, a gift certificate to his or her favorite store is a great option. It’s something they can take advantage of alone or with friends, and it gives them money they must spend on something fun, something they like, and something that makes them feel great about themselves!

Forget your own single status and pay a visit to those who are aware of their single status daily. Nursing homes and similar facilities are good places to consider, but you may know of someone in your community or your neighborhood who has lost his or her life partner and could use a little company on this particular day. Go together to a place or an event that was special to your friend and his or her partner, or create brand new adventures for yourselves. Everyone should feel important on Valentine’s Day, and making someone else have a good feeling is one of the greatest gifts you could give.

By Louie Felix

I have been in the matchmaking industry for almost ten years, and I have personally interviewed thousands of single men looking to meet the love of their life. Many of the men that I meet with are over the age of 40 and heterosexual, but have never been married, which is the reason I decided to write this article. Why are so many men over the age of 40 still single? Will a 40-plus male ever be able to take a leap of faith and finally marry the woman of his dreams, or does she slip through his fingers time and time again because she never completely fulfills the image he has in his head of whom he sees himself with in the long term? Has being single for over 40 years caused some men to become commitment-phobes? Do men really want to get married?

In my experience, the answer to that last question for the majority of men is an absolute yes! Do men readily admit to others and themselves that they want the perfect wife and family, or even a committed relationship? Don’t bet on it! There’s a certain level of fear that seems to be at the root of the most common reason why many men over the age of 40 have never been married. Is it fear of commitment, or fear of failure? Fear of making a mistake and choosing the wrong woman, or fear that if she is the right woman, she may eventually not meet or exceed his expectations later in life?

All of the above, actually. In my opinion, most women are more willing to make life sacrifices and risk everything for the man of their dreams. Men are definitely a bit slower with the self realization process when it comes to taking such risks. Basically, what it comes down to is nature versus nurture. As humans, most of us are born with the instinctive need to reproduce. Unfortunately, the nurture side of this equation is what interferes with nature. Each of our individual upbringings determines how we think and what we feel, and also influences the decisions we make as we develop from adolescence into adulthood. This does not only include the influences of the friends and family that surround us but also our life experiences. The most common influences, or reasons why men fear marriage or commitment, generally stem from their parents’ relationship. Men are either afraid that they will end up in an unhappy marriage for the rest of their lives, or they fear that their marriage will eventually end in divorce. Regardless of the reason, fear’s driving, most of the time.

Women in particular should note that not every man craves the married or family life, but I believe that eventually, most men will wake up and realize that making a lifelong commitment to the woman of their dreams is worth the risk that comes along with making that decision. They will stand proud and bow down on one knee and profess their undying love to their significant other and publicly pledge their willingness to enter into a lifelong partnership, ’til death do they part. One can dream, right? Let’s hope men come to these realizations before their girlfriends become tired of waiting. Tick-tock, tick-tock, gentlemen—your clock is ticking and your princess awaits, but for how long?

By Louie Felix

Being single during the holiday season is all about perception and frame of mind. When the holidays loom, many singles get the dreaded thought of “I don’t want to be single again this holiday season!” If you are single and can relate, then there’s hope for you.

It helps to make an assessment and have an understanding of the reasons why you have not found yourself in a relationship. There are many things you can do to take control of your mistletoe experience this holiday season and ensure that you kiss your way into an exciting New Year with a great new relationship.

For starters, create a list of all of the qualities and characteristics you are looking for in a partner. If you’re thinking, “If I knew what I wanted, then I wouldn’t still be single,” it may be true, but there are a few tricks that can help you discover the kind of person you’re really looking to meet. This could guide you to your perfect match.

I believe that most people are single because they are focusing on chemistry and looks rather than the true knowledge or understanding about whom they should be with for the long term. I love to ask singles, “When was the last time you broke up with someone because they were unattractive?” The answer to that question is simple: never. Chemistry is usually the driving force behind the beginning of a relationship—everything else is usually secondary.

Chemistry is important to start that relationship bubbling, but after the honeymoon period—generally the first three to six months of a relationship—the electrons usually stop whirling and you see the simple elements of the person. In most cases, it’s not the same person you thought you were going into the relationship with because your primary focus was physical or illusory and not deep-rooted compatibility or commonality.

Back to your list. The first thing you should do is evaluate your past three dates or relationships from your own perspective. Think about the qualities you really liked about your dates or partners. It is imperative to focus your thoughts on the positive qualities, personality traits, and characteristics rather than the reasons that past relationships didn’t work out. Next, think about the qualities you believe that your past dates or partners really liked about you. You need to see yourself through the eyes of your past partners—it may not be easy, but it can be an eye-opening experience. In most cases, when you focus on the positive qualities about your past relationship situations, it will help you to become more aware of who you are and what you are really looking for in a partner. As a bonus. self-awareness helps to build self-esteem, and people want to surround themselves with confident, positive people.

Knowledge is power, so use this self-assessment and evaluation process and apply the “new you” when you start to open up to potential new partner candidates. Do it carefully, but make it quick, because the holidays are upon us. Attend holiday parties and ask your friends to start introducing you to new and exciting people who may be potential relationship candidates. Consider posting your new updated profile on a popular dating site or hire a matchmaker to introduce you to people.

It’s time to make a conscious decision to change your current single situation. Envision yourself in a fantastic relationship with the person of your dreams. If you can see it, and you believe it will happen, then it’s up to you to make it happen.

By Louie Felix

You would think being single in 2009 is easy, right? You have all the wisdom of the past, along with the most advanced technology of the present. Singles looking to meet the love of their lives have all the necessary resources right at their fingertips—the most efficient online singles dating sites, with endless levels of compatibility questions to ensure that they find themselves in healthy, loving relationships. There are dating and relationship coaches to hold their hands all the way to the altar. Their friends and family have “someone they’d love for you to meet because you’re perfect for each other.” In a world with so much help and countless resources to find the love of your life, get married, and have the 2.5 children in the perfect house with the white picket fence—or whatever lifestyle will fulfill your dreams—why are you still single?

It’s time to delete your log-ins and passwords and consider a single solution to your dating predicament. Ready? Matchmakers. Matchmakers will offer you something that none of the online dating sites can: a greater-than-50-percent control of the final outcome of your dates. The fact is, you can’t really ever truly know what someone thinks about you—all you know is what he or she tells you. Matchmakers give both of you an advantage in addition to more control when it comes to dating because they represent both parties.

One of the most common complaints I hear from singles is that dating on their own only offers one perception of the truth behind why someone does or does not want to continue dating you. I believe you should always date with purpose and intention, but what good is dating someone if you don’t have a common big-picture goal, right? Most people I speak to who are considering hiring a matchmaker are tired of continually meeting people who are not looking for the same type of relationship. Matchmakers personally interview everyone they’re considering matching you with, which means that you’re only going to be matched with people who share similar core values, personality traits, family background, and religion or spirituality. Imagine what it would be like to only be introduced to people who share similar interests and goals, who share the same core values, who are looking for the same type of relationship you are looking for and, best of all, who share amazing chemistry with you. With the help of a matchmaker, there’s not that much of a predicament—it’s a single solution that may help you turn your relation goal into a relationship reality!