By Lea Friese-Haben

She Took Her Love to Town

Dear Lea,

I can’t believe that I am writing to you, as I am shocked to be in this situation. I am 39 years old, successful in business, married fourteen years with three beautiful children. My wife now says she wants to leave me for another man, who is also married. She went on a “girl trip” in April to San Diego and met someone there, and has been secretly carrying on ever since. I don’t know what to do. One minute, she says that it as just a fling and that it’s over, but yet she is still texting him. The next I know, she is cleaning out our checking account, maxing out our credit cards, and moves out while I am at work. My poor kids are a mess and are so confused. I love her and yet I am not sure that I can ever forgive her or trust her after all of this. Her parents and sisters are in shock and have fortunately sided with me. I am dumbfounded. What should I do?

Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused,

I see this all the time with women who are about to turn 40. Most of the time it is not about you—it’s about her and what she feels she may be missing. She is feeling insecure about herself and is looking for validation outside herself as well as outside the marriage. I would do what you can to protect your finances and try to get her into counseling. Some marriages can be salvaged after infidelity, but honestly, the percentages are small, and it takes a lot of work to earn the trust back. Make sure that the children and you receive the necessary counseling. This is usually a phase and she will probably try to keep you as a safety net or try to come back once it is over. The other man involved probably won’t leave his wife, as it is rare that they ever do. She will want to come back after the relationship fails. It’s my personal and professional belief that if people stray once, they will probably stray again. My advice is to take care of yourself and your children and be very careful with your heart and your finances. Good luck, and keep me posted.

Lea

Don’t Dress Like a Cub

Dear Coach Lea,

I saw you on the news recently and you had given a woman a “Cougar Makeover.” My sister desperately needs your help. My niece and nephew are horrified with her wardrobe and her behavior. I read your columns and I hope that she will heed your advice as a professional, as nothing my mom and I have said has made a difference. She is dating a guy that is only five years older than her son. I wish I could have taped that newscast, as she is worse than the cougar you had on the show. I would love for her to meet a great guy, but she never will as long as she continues on this path. Can you define a cougar-gone overboard the way you did on the news? My sister is 42 trying to be 20, and quite frankly, it’s embarrassing to be seen with her. I loved the classy makeover you did for the cougar on the show.

Thank you,
Concerned Sis

Dear Sis,

I had lots of phone calls, e-mails and Facebook comments after that show. For future reference, that episode aired on FOX 10 on July 28 and is archived on the Web site at myfoxphoenix.com.

Cougar-Gone-Bad Checklist

• Overdone breasts

• Overly injected lips

• Bad hair extensions

• So much Botox that all facial expression is gone

• Miniskirts (Never after the age of 35)

• Pamela Anderson hair

• Clothes that are too tight or too young

• Dating men that are closer to the age of their children

It is my personal belief that a woman any age and any size can look and feel beautiful with the right help. Real beauty comes from within and radiates outward. If your sister wants happiness in a relationship, she needs to change the bait that she is currently using. A beautiful, confident, sexy woman will always fare better in love than an older woman trying too hard to look too young. My advice is to quit living in the past and make the most of what you have! Have her contact me. Keep me posted and tell her to check out the video.

Lea

By Scott Sackett
Photos by Colleen Miniuk-Sperry

Start with this bit of teaching: If any of the setup basics are less than perfect, the only way to hit the ball where you want is by making compensations—a chain of events which usually results in poor contact. There’s just no way around it.

Jack Nicklaus said it best: “The single most important maneuver in golf is the setup (how you position yourself to the ball before you swing). Set up correctly and there’s a good chance you’ll hit a reasonable shot, even if you make a mediocre swing. Set up poorly, and you’ll hit a lousy shot even if you make the greatest swing in the world.”

GRIP

To become a good player, you must understand the function and importance of the grip. The grip is your body’s only physical connection to the golf club.

The grip controls the clubface, and the angle of the clubface at impact dictates a shot’s curvature. If your shots tend to slice, the clubface at impact is open in relationship to the path the clubhead is traveling on. In this instance, it’s likely that your grip is too weak—hands rotated too far to the left on the grip (toward the target). If you’re hitting hooks, the clubface is closed to the clubhead path at impact, probably because your grip is too strong. Since most golfers slice the ball, they stand to benefit by placing their hands in a stronger position. For a strong grip, set your hands more to the right on the grip (rotated away from the target) so the Vs formed by your thumbs and forefingers point toward the right shoulder. This promotes more clubhead and forearm rotation through impact, giving you the best chance to square the clubface at impact.

Weak Grip: Vs pointing to chin.

Neutral Grip: Vs pointing to right ear.

Strong Grip: Vs pointing to right shoulder.

“Good golf begins with a good grip.”   —Ben Hogan

Left Hand: Key Checkpoints

First step is to put the Xs on your glove.

Set the grip of the golf club in the fingers under the Xs, which creates an angle.

Grip should lie on hand; diagonally across top crease in forefinger; first knuckle of index finger.

Place the pad of your palm on top of the grip, then go ahead and wrap your fingers from underneath.

The thumb should be on top and slightly right of center, at approximately one o’clock.

If you’re attempting to create a neutral grip, you should see at least two knuckles.

Right Hand: Key Checkpoints

With your left hand, take the shaft of the club from horizontal to vertical. Then with the right hand…

Set the grip on the first knuckle of the index finger covering the line. Slide the fingers down until they touch the left hand.

At this point, you will either interlock or overlap with your right pinky and left index finger.

Set the left thumb in the lifeline of the right hand. Make sure both Vs are running parallel to each other.

The right thumb sits on top and slightly left of center on the grip (at 11 o’clock).

Grip Choices

Joining the hands is a matter of personal preference. Of the three grip choices, the overlap is the most popular on the PGA Tour. However, there are great players who also use the interlock style. You may have heard of two of them: Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods.

Interlock

Overlap

Baseball

Grip Pressure

If one is light and ten is tight, three or four is just right.

You’ll often see a glove with a hole or worn spot in the heel pad. This indicates that you’re gripping the club too high, at the butt end of the grip. This makes it much easier to lose your grip and makes the club longer and heavier.

The correct grip also sets the body behind the ball at address, with the proper amount of side tilt. We will discuss this in our next tip when we talk about the importance of posture.

Results of a Good Grip

Scott Sackett is a GOLF Magazine Top 100 Teacher. Scott teaches at McCormick Ranch Golf Club in Scottsdale. He is also the director of instruction at the Rim Club in Payson. He splits his time equally. To reach Scott, call him at (904) 838-2721 or e-mail him at scottsackett@cox.net.

Visit his Web site at scottsackett.com.

By Lee Nelson

It’s hard to imagine what life was like 1,500 years ago in Arizona. But you can visit the Pueblo Grande Museum and Archaeological Park to get a feel for how the prehistoric Hohokam people survived here. The museum is located at the ruins of a Hohokam village in the otherwise hustling, bustling Phoenix.

The mission of the museum has been to collect, preserve, and research materials from the site of Pueblo Grande and the Greater Southwest. Since 1929, the museum has been operated by the city of Phoenix Parks and Recreation Department. For nearly 80 years, the museum has provided insight into the Hohokam culture.

The 95-acre park can give you a sense of the everyday life of these people by exploring full-size adobe replications of their homes. Through ingenuity and the gathering of natural materials from the desert, the Hohokam designed wood-framed houses and insulated them with adobe mud within shallow pits. They created a village by constructing the homes inside a courtyard.

A trail through the village takes you to a pit house cluster. You can observe Hohokam daily activities by stepping inside and through the courtyard. You’ll see cooking equipment and tools similar to the ones once used long ago. The Ruin Trail at the museum also features an adobe compound that resembles the Hohokam homes later in the tribe’s history. The houses were erected with walls around them, probably for larger extended families.

The culture of this regional people included red-on-buff pottery, shell jewelry, and beautiful woven textiles. They worked the land as farmers, growing corn, beans, squash, and cotton. No one quite knows what made them abandon their villages in the fifteenth century.

Visitors can walk around the ruin of an 800-year-old platform mound that probably was used for elaborate ceremonies or an administrative center. An excavated ball court and a full-scale reproduction of a home can be viewed along the trail.

If you are more into hands-on experiences, the Dig It! Explore Archaeology exhibit can fulfill your desire to find clues from ancient and historic sites. You can view a life-size trench wall that replicates different elements of an archaeological dig, or you can build a miniature Hohokam village.

A new exhibit called Pieces of the Puzzle: New Perspectives on the Hohokam concentrates on state-of-the-art archaeological techniques that can give new investigative searches into this ancient group of people. Visitors can explore methods for dating and analyzing existing archaeological materials and consider the latest opinions on what really happened to this ancient culture.

The Museum Store offers a myriad of American Indian jewelry and pottery, games, books, CDs, and one-of-a-kind gifts. The shop is operated by the Pueblo Grande Museum Auxiliary. If you have a larger group such as a class or office, the museum offers tours of the outdoor exhibits, ruins, and inside exhibits.

The Pueblo Grande Museum and Archaeological Park is located at 4619 Washington St., Phoenix. For more information, call (602) 495-0901 or visit phoenix.gov/PARKS/pueblo.html.

By Kevin Madness

The distinguished British leader Winston Churchill famously declared: “There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened, and maintained.”

A supportive family is, unquestionably, an essential part of child development. Sadly, it is not ubiquitous. To some children, home can seem like a hopeless and scary place, and others who are worse off have no home or family to speak of.

This is where Arizona’s Children Association (AzCA) comes in; through their child welfare and family education services, they work to provide every child in Arizona with a stable home that is safe and nurturing.

The organization was founded in 1912 as an orphanage. It has since expanded into a full-service child welfare and behavioral health agency that includes over 40 programs throughout every county in the state.

Perhaps the most essential services they provide are adoption programs. Along with connecting potential parents with children in need of permanent homes, AzCA offers education, decision counseling, and postplacement services for the adoptive families.

The need for adoptive parents is both immediate and dire. As of March 2008, Arizona had 9,721 children in out-of-home care, according to the Division of Children, Youth and Families semiannual report. This is primarily due to abuse, neglect, or abandonment. Without the help of organizations like AzCA promoting adoption, these children can grow up in state care, unfamiliar with the love and solidarity of family and inexperienced in real-world situations. Hence, permanent adoption is sought in each case.

Helping needy children often begins with helping the families. Through AzCA, resources and information are available for not easily resolvable issues that a family member may have. These are called prevention programs and are intended to keep problems from escalating into dangerous concerns.

“We know from experience that working with children and families is more effective and less expensive than trying to remedy the effects of ineffective parenting down the road,” says Fred Chaffee, AzCA’s president and CEO.

The organization has developed a number of outstanding prevention programs. The New Directions Institute provides training for parents and caregivers to maximize their children’s brain development, based on the latest findings in the field of neuroscience. The Parent Connection is a resource center in Tucson that offers workshops, parenting classes, and support groups aimed at building positive relationships between parents and their children.

“One family wrote us about The Parent Connection,” Chaffee says. “They said, ‘The Parent Connection saved our lives. We had no support in raising our children. We sometimes call the staff for their expert advice on particular issues like sibling rivalry and discipline. Every family should have access to this kind of nurturing.’”

The inspiring work that AzCA does would not be possible without the support and goodwill of regular Arizonans. The organization is always accepting volunteers, and their number nearly doubles that of actual employees. The public can also help AzCA by participating in upcoming fund-raising and charity events such as the Annual Penny Pitch Golf Tournament in Yuma and the Gifts of Hope drive that collects holiday gifts for needy families.

Seeing the future in a hopeful way may be inconceivable to a neglected child, a grandparent struggling to raise a toddler, or an infertile couple desperately wishing for children, but where there’s AzCA, there’s also education, and with education comes hope and action.

“We work with children and families every day whose hope has been shaken by the circumstances of their lives,” Chaffee says. “It is our challenge to provide effective programs and services that will help restore their hopes, big and little, that will make the difference for the rest of their lives.”

UPCOMING AzCA EVENTS TO BENEFIT CHILDREN:

December 13, 2008
KTTI Sixth Annual Penny Pitch Golf Tournament. Cocopah Golf Resort, Yuma. Contact Dubia Zaragoza for more information at (928) 210-3132 or e-mail dzaragoza@arizonaschildren.org.

The Gifts of Hope drive to collect holiday gifts for needy families runs to the holidays. Contact Leah Stegman at (602) 234-3733 or e-mail lstegman@arizonaschildren.org.

For a complete list of all AzCA’s programs, visit their Web site at arizonaschildren.org.

By Gerald Calami
Photography by Eric Fairchild

North Valley recently had a chance to sit down with the dynamic, sexy, entertainment powerhouse known as Envy. As the current house band at the Barcelona Nightclub in Scottsdale, the band’s high-energy act covers modern and classic hits from artists like OutKast, The Black Eyed Peas, Madonna, Gwen Stefani, and Kool and the Gang.

Envy had to fill the big shoes left behind by the house group Zowie Bowie, who exited Barcelona to move to the Las Vegas Red Rock Resort and Casino over a year ago. The band jumped right in and hasn’t looked back. Instead of becoming the next Zowie Bowie, they have become the first Envy. Their excitement and daily hard work has paid off as the demanding North Scottsdale entertainment clientele have opened their arms to the great show Envy puts on. They have converted the Zowie Bowie regulars, and continue to receive fantastic fan and corporate client feedback.

We used our time with the band to find out more about Envy from their three front vocalists. Founding members Tim Doyle and Ben Harris—Ol’ Green Eyes—joined the band’s newest addition—the talented and beautiful songwriter and pianist Dawn Jameson—for our sit-down session.

North Valley Magazine : What brought Envy together?

Tim Doyle: Woody Jarrett, the band’s manager, formed the current band in the winter of 2006. Woody previously had a lineup that included himself at keyboards and different female vocals up front.

Ben Harris: Woody’s initial idea for the band was to select the best local talent he could find and put it together to form an entertainment bank that could get national—and even international—recognition.

NVM: What are the band’s current goals?

TD: To get better each day. To make each show more exciting and to make each performance more entertaining.

BH: We want to get bigger and bigger. We have created a true local buzz, we have done a number of corporate events, and now we hope to be noticed on a larger national scale.

NVM: Tell us about performing for corporate companies such as Universal Studios, FedEx, and the American Heart Association.

TD: It is fun for us to see people in suits and formal wear getting down to our music, watching CEOs dancing on stage with us. The value of bringing that kind of entertainment to the corporate field is what pushes us to perform our best.

BH: Our music can be performed to groups ranging from T-shirts and flip-flops to others in formalwear. That is what makes our performances so versatile.

NVM: Dawn, you recently appeared on Jay Leno . What was that like?

Dawn Jameson: It was incredible. Jay Leno was very sweet and personable. Even though we recorded for only about two to three minutes, the whole experience was phenomenal.

NVM: How has taking on the job of Barcelona’s house b
and over a year ago been for the band?

TD: We have had a great time. It has been very exciting to be the heart of a fantastic social spot with the ability to perform for such a large number of people day after day.

NVM: How did the change in vocals and keyboards affect the chemistry?

BH: We have improved the talent of the band and increased the range of work [so] that we can now cover more music in our performances. It’s like we are a playoff team who’s been able to add Lebron James to our team. It’s great.

NVM: What changes does the band make to its performance as you play at Barcelona month after month?

TD: We are changing the routine on a weekly basis. Our audience gets the newest, freshest songs that they are just hearing on the radio, and we deliver it to them in our own fusion of pumping hits.

DJ: Starting in the early fall, we will be bringing an ’80s throwback section to our routine, which we are very excited about. We are also currently developing our own original material.

NVM: What kind of performances has Envy done recently for local venues, and to foster local relationships?

BH: We have received a tremendous amount of local support from various retailers. Stash of Mesa and Barbwire [Western Couture] of North Scottsdale have provided us with clothing, jewelry, and accessories that are a huge part of the image of our performances. We are always looking to work with sponsors that can provide us with great products.

TD: We recently were part of the post-Taste party for the Taste 2007 at the Westin Kierland. We performed for over 2,000 people, while nearly 10,000 attended the event.

NVM: Your three lead singers are working on solo material. Will the success of that music help Envy’s publicity or hurt it?

TD: Envy’s continued success will be the catalyst of our solo careers. It has increased our face time and publicity. We are constantly asked at Barcelona for CDs of our individual work.

BH: We have been able to enlarge our network of people from all industries. A rap party that I put together led to Jaime Foxx’s attendance at the event. Having really enjoyed the show, he added me as an extra, a soldier part, in his new film The Kingdom , parts of which were shot locally east of the Valley out on Highway 60.

NVM: What lies ahead for Envy?

BH: Barcelona is our home. We love it here. However, the sky’s the limit. We would love to play in venues for larger audiences. We have even been approached by a concert promoter to be part of a Major City Promotional Tour.

NVM: Where do you see Envy five years from now?

BH: Doing it big!

TD: We hope to be one of the best entertainment acts on an international level!

The band describes North Scottsdale as a mini-Beverly Hills, and the members know that the Barcelona crowd expects their best during each performance. Whether Doyle and Jameson are performing their dinner lounge act or if Harris joins them to perform their electrifying nightclub set, these three know that their entertainment future is, ultimately, up to them.

Doyle, who spent ten years as a personal trainer, knows that the band’s bodies are its instruments. Along with Harris, the band mates have stepped up their workout in order to look their best. The way Harris sells the band to continuous crowds at Barcelona with his versatile vocal styling doesn’t hurt either; he captures everything from Sinatra to Nate Dogg. An ASU graduate, he puts his degree to work when not performing onstage—he is a regular reporter on AZE 360. He says that all the hard work that he put in at ASU to bring his Ol’ Green Eyes routine campuswide has been the impetus to letting loose on the world, and his body of work is proving his statement right. Jameson dreamed of coming to Barcelona as a performer when she was performing as a singer at Eli’s American Grille. This classically trained pianist and songwriter, who started playing at four years old and now memorizes her tunes by playing by ear, has made that dream come true. She told NVM that she recently recorded new solo material written for her by Christina Aguilera’s songwriter. You can stop by her frequently visited MySpace page to hear some of her recordings.

No band would be complete without the help of instrumentalists. Jeremy Vakeles (bass), Tom Daniel (guitar), Aaron Bland (drums), and Andy Margolis (keyboards) complete the band Envy. With various awards to their names and veteran stage experience, they are the finishing polish and sound of this collaboration of talent. Whether you are looking to be support the band as a sponsor or simply be a fully entertained fan, Envy is a shooting star that should not be missed. All of us at North Valley Magazine wish them all the best and hope that all their plans come to fruition.

Clothing, jewelry, and accessories provided by the following:

Andrew Z Fine Diamonds & Jewelry, andrewzdiamonds.com
Barbwire Western Couture, barbwire.com
Stash, stashclothing.com
Studio 15, studio15scottsdale.com
Ivan’s Bedrock Jewelers, (480) 423-1482
Bebe, bebe.com
Diamondback Automotive Group, phxcars.com