Writer M.D. Thalmann debates the trend of wearing yoga clothes outside the gym

Workout Wear

Writer M.D. Thalmann debates the trend of wearing yoga clothes outside the gym.

It has been brought to my attention (not that I hadn’t noticed anyway) that there are certain little niches of our Valley that have thrown fashion norms to the wind and have adopted an athletic wear (all the time) aesthetic. From restaurants to grocery stores, from malls to concerts, and every place in between, gals and guys, young and old, are sporting workout wear en masse, 24/7.

That’s right. Yoga pants, or Joe-guh pants, have taken over––no doubt you’ve noticed––and it has sparked some debate as to whether or not this workout attire should be acceptable in a public (non gym) setting, or if it’s just poor etiquette.

This is a tough question, as our society is a strange one. Case in point: Men and women are more than happy to show it all on Instagram and Snapchat, but find it uncomfortable when someone walks from a gym locker to the shower in their birthday suit—all the while failing to see the irony that you’re supposed to be naked in the locker room, and not on the Internet or in a Mission Impossible-type self-destructing digital message with illicit undertones.

You probably won’t be surprised to hear I’m on the pro side of wearing gym clothing out and about, although it’s doubtful––ok, 100 percent improbable (lucky for you), you’ll see me outfitted in Joe-guh pants. I applaud the 80s spandex generation (of which I’m a proud member) and the emergence of the cult of Lulu with a few qualifying statements.

1. We’re looking at your butt––all of us. Men and women. Don’t even pretend you don’t know, or that we should be embarrassed for looking at your display. No one needs to be embarrassed, but if someone has to be, it should be you. Hide your keister away if it bothers you so much.
2. There needs to be an established approved range of tension for workout wear fabric. If yoga pants sag on you at any point, just don’t wear them. Think of a bathing suit, has anyone ever said, “Yeah, I want the one that makes me look like I’m incontinent?” No. Stop. The same goes with your stretchy pants. Stretchy is the adjective.
3. Likewise, if there is a tension level that transforms the tights into sheer leggings and we can see your freckles (or worse), those pants don’t fit you, move on. Seriously, it’s not about your physique, no one is shaming anyone, but if they don’t fit, they don’t fit. Go up a size, or may I suggest doing some actual yoga…?
4. This will probably be frowned upon in our everyone-is-exactly-the-same society, but I don’t care. Common sense needs to make a serious comeback. MEN, NOOOOOOO! Men cannot wear yoga pants in public, it should be outlawed (I wouldn’t be bringing it up if I hadn’t seen it). We men get to go topless no matter how big our man-breasts have become, and that’s not fair either, but you cannot go around with your lower half shrink-wrapped. It’s a traumatizing sight.
5. Finally, while I (and many others) have co-signed to you wearing gym pants in public, you need to cover up that sports bra, and not because it’s immoral or improper (in my opinion, anyway) but because it’s asinine. You’re not about to do hot yoga in the dairy cooler at Costco or in the Whole Foods dairy aisle, so please cover up.